Birthdays
by Kyrie Snape
Summary: It's Severus' birthday and someone's playing pranks. Not a good combination.


Title: Birthdays

Author: Kyrie

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Don't belive me... ask my cat!

Word Count: 1,212

A/N: Response to HCR challenge. Write a HP fanfic which includes a Disney cartoon character and Easter Island statues.

Birthdays

He opened one eye, groaned and promptly closed it again. It was bad enough that it was a Hogsmeade weekend, but when he thought about the significance of the day, he knew no good would ever come of the combination. Hogsmeade trips were enough to deal with on their own, but he knew that the headmaster wouldn't let his birthday pass without some inane trinket to 'commemorate the day.' With the new Muggles Studies teacher, Dumbledore would undoubtedly have an ally and Severus knew it was just a matter of time till one or both cornered him with birthday greetings. And so it was that Severus Snape, Potions Master and Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, found himself entertaining the idea of doing something he'd never done before. He seriously considered staying in bed all day.

An hour later found Severus in the Great Hall for breakfast, scowling more than usual at the roaring chatter of the excited students, while avoiding Albus' twinkling eyes. He still wasn't sure getting out of bed was the best course of action, but he'd be damned if he'd let the twinkly –eyed bastard and his Muggle-raised side-kick force him into hiding.

"Ah, Severus," began the headmaster. "I'm afraid Filius is unable to chaperone the Hogsmeade trip. And I can't send Danielle by herself."

Teacup paused in midair; Severus glared at the old man. "Just what are you saying?"

"I need you to fill in as the second chaperone. It's just not safe to send Danielle by herself with things escalating…"

The rest of Dumbledore's sentence was drowned out by loud exclamations all along the staff table. Severus looked over at a furious Minerva who was sporting the head of a sheep. Turning his head to keep from laughing, he looked straight at Filius who had horns sprouting from his ears. As he was turning back toward the headmaster, he saw the mirth in Danielle's eyes. He was sure he saw tears running down her face as she tried not to laugh out loud.

Albus was probably the most comical of all. His white hair was the colour of a rainbow and his long white beard had sprouted twigs and leaves. Just as Albus started to pluck a leaf from it, a small bird popped its head out and clamped onto his finger. As Severus started to remark, he heard a small tinkling sound similar to tiny chimes that seemed to be coming from the vicinity of his left arm. Severus lost all his amusement. Attempting to ascertain the origin of the sound, he lifted his teacup so as to not raise suspicion. To his abject horror, he heard the tinkling voice more clearly and it was definitely singing.

"It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small world after all. It's a small, small world…"

Just as the voice started over, Severus jerked his sleeve up and stared in horror at the inside of his left forearm. There, sitting on the top of the skull that was the Dark Mark, was a tattoo of a small fairy in a hideous yellow dress. She was swinging her feet, which were encased in yellow slippers with puff balls on the toes.

Severus stood up so abruptly that his chair toppled. He swept from the Great Hall in a flurry of robes and slammed the door behind him so loudly that it startled everyone still at breakfast… all but one, who unnoticed by Severus followed the irate Potions Master to the dungeons.

"Mudblood," whispered Severus angrily to the statue guarding his quarters, which immediately leapt aside. Once inside he picked up the nearest object, an ancient vase and threw it at the wall. It was then that he noticed the Muggle Studies teacher standing in his still open door.

"Easter Island statue isn't it?" asked Danielle gesturing to the door's guardian.

"Yes. Albus gave it too me several years ago as a birthday gift. He brought it back from a visit to Easter Island. It's probably the only useful gift he's ever given me," said Severus with a snort.

He eyed Danielle suspiciously. "Why are you here? Come to make fun of this… fairy?" Severus asked pointing at the hideous tattoo on his arm.

"Pixie," said Danielle quietly.

"What?!?" roared Severus.

"Tinkerbell is a pixie. It's a Muggle cartoon character. She's the sidekick of a boy named Peter Pan who lives in Never, Never Land."

Severus waved his hand to cut her off. "I don't care what it is. I want to know where it came from, how to shut it up, and most importantly… HOW TO GET RID OF IT!" Severus began in an angry whisper, but ended practically screaming in rage.

Danielle looked at Severus sympathetically. "I'd say you were the victim of a prank, like the others. It was likely something in your food that caused it. Unfortunately, I don't know who's responsible and I wouldn't even hazard a guess as to how to remove it, but the singing might be stopped by casting a silencing charm on it until we know how to get it off."

Severus stared at her briefly before casting the spell. "The brats are waiting," and turning, he swept back out of his rooms, again followed by Danielle.

Once in Hogsmeade, Danielle put her hand on Severus' arm. When he looked at her, she pointed towards a new shoppe with a freshly painted sign proclaiming it to be Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. As Severus looked to where she pointed, he noticed the number of students flocking to the shoppe. Glancing at the sign, he strode towards the shoppe, rage evident in every line of his face.

He shoved the door open with enough force to slam it into a wall. Every person in the shoppe turned to face the door. One look and every patron, student or not, fled, except for Harry and his friends.

"Potter!" spat Severus.

"Yes, Professor," said Harry nervously.

"You did this… didn't you?" he snarled.

"Did…," Harry swallowed hard. "Did what, sir?"

Severus just narrowed his eyes, all the while Harry's eyes widened.

"No, sir. I swear I wasn't involved. I didn't know about the new joke potions till breakfast."

Danielle placed a hand on Severus' arm. "Boys," she said to Fred and George. "The antidote for your tattoo potion, if you please."

George, poised as though ready to run, looked at Fred who went into the store room and promptly returned with the antidote, handing it to Danielle wordlessly, pale and shaking.

"Messrs. Weasley and Potter, we'll see you along with Miss Granger after dinner in Professor Snape's office. We will get to the bottom of this then," directed Danielle just before she led Severus out of the shoppe.

Once around the corner, Danielle handed Severus the antidote which he promptly drank. She looked down the alley to ensure they were alone then she leaned in and gently pressed a kiss to Severus' lips.

"Happy Birthday, Rus," she whispered.

Severus couldn't help but smirk at the memory of the fear radiating from everyone in the joke shoppe. "Indeed," was all he said, as they headed to the Three Broomsticks for lunch.


End file.
